|Last Laugh! When Marketing Surveys Get Off-Track|
|Linc Madison (firstname.lastname@example.org)|
Wed, 13 Apr 2005 18:04:11 -0700
My cellular phone carrier called me (on my landline) the other day to|
do a marketing survey. They asked me if I had any plans to add another
line to my account. I told them no, I live alone, I hardly use the one
cellphone, so I can't imagine adding a line at any point in the
The survey person persisted, though, wanting to ask me to rate on a
I therefore came up with my own revised questionnaire.
On a 1-to-10 scale, with 1 being "no way!" and 10 being "where do I
A. Martians invade Earth.
B. You suddenly discover 27 previously unknown offspring.
C. You are diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. You need a second line
D. Both of your arms fall off.
E. Both of your legs fall off.
F. Both arms AND both legs fall off.
G. Costa Rica declares war on Vanuatu.
H. You simultaneously win every state lotto jackpot in the U.S.
I. The widow of an African dictator gives you $27,500,000.00
J. Breakthrough scientific research reveals that telephone area code
I think, in my circumstances, those are equally realistic hypothetical
Linc Madison * San Francisco, California * email@example.com
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